“This is the story of my dream job, a series of after-hours meetings, and my friend in the room.

I was working late, when my boss was called into a meeting with the heads of our department. He returned and gave me the news: a role was open in a department that I’d had my eye on… there would be formalities around applying, but it was implicitly agreed by everyone in the room that evening that I would take the job.

I was elated. And I thought for a moment about who might have been the champion who had spoken on my behalf. My boss — who had given me the news — was supportive, but did not hold back in showing his frustration that I was being poached for another team: he said he was losing his star player. My new boss-to-be was still a stranger at this point; we had exchanged no more than brief glances in meetings and while passing each other on the floor. The department head, when I thanked him for the opportunity, gave me a lukewarm response: ‘We’ll see what you do with it.’

Given this environment of visible apathy and fear about my career opportunity, I wondered: Who, among this group of male leaders, HAD supported me? Who was my champion? Who was my friend in the room?

I had my hunches about who had spoken up for me in that meeting; and as I stepped into the role, my hunches were visibly confirmed: it was the global lead of my team, a prickly and influential man who knew my ambition, the quality of my work and, most importantly, was unafraid to lose me to better things. He had been the one to push me toward excellence; on multiple projects, he’d sent me back to the drawing board, two and three times over the same analysis: ‘This cell looks like an error; go back to the desk, figure out what happened, do it properly and reschedule us.’
He’d also given me a raise within ninety days of joining my first team, assuring me, ‘We love your contributions and we’re extremely happy you’re here.’

Yet his most profound impact on me was the influence he not only held, but wielded on my behalf. Once I moved into my new job, I was now a leader facing enormous opposition from just about everyone outside my new team. This was a highly political environment and no act was left unscrutinized or immune to hostile assessment, even from the man who had actively spoken up for me.

But throughout conflict, this leader was still my fierce ally. Even my new boss, who bore the brunt of the opposition, remarked that while there was disagreement and dissent running rampant, my ally would eventually and visibly concur that I had done an excellent job.

Of course, I never got to see this for myself. These meetings were after hours, on another floor, and closed to the public.

But this is the definition of allyship and sponsorship: someone with access you do not have, who will speak for you in your absence. This idea used to irk me; why couldn’t I speak for myself? I am hopeful that one day soon, management structures will better reflect the true composition of their companies. But for now, there are still all-boys clubs and after-hours meetings. And those of us outside will need a friend in the room.”

– Alanna, Financial Services
New York City